so you know how i write poems whenever i get really emotional about something that's happening in my life? well, if you didn't then here's how it works: i have this black spiral notebook that is my life and holds everything about me in it. i sometimes let people read them, because they are all good and it helps others to better understand me as a person.
about.....five and half months ago i let a girl that i know and trust read it (the book is now like 70-80 pages long). she didn't finish it so i let her take it home to finish it, i knew that she would bring it back to me the next day. she did and i got it back. she made such a fuss about telling me how good they were that everyone wanted to start reading them. i'm not really sure how i happened but i was passed all through my girl scout troop so every one read like one or two pages. when it got time to leave it was left on a table and my girl scout leard picked it up. this where my first red flag went up: i'm pretty sure that she read it. this is bad becasue, well, there's some stuff in there about al and hoiw i really felt during that time as well as what was going on between me and nathan. thankfully i didn't use any names except twice and she doesn't know who they are (thank god!!).
i told my leader that i REALLY needed it back. she said that she had and that she would bring it to the next meeting. she forgot and didn't bring it. i reminded her and then we both got really busy planing this huge camp out i kept reminding her about it like every week.
long story short: I STILL DON'T FREAKING HAVE IT BACK!!!!!!!!! I REALLY NEED THAT BACK BECAUSE IT'S MY LIFE AND I MISS HAVING A LIFE!!!!!! i was gonna pposr a bunch more online for you all to read, but then i don't have it......
FIVE AND HALF EFFING MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how do you forget something for FIVE AND A HLAF EFFING MONTHS!!!!????????

i was just at a funeral yesterday and got to thinking:

"When I die, I won't be dead. Jesus God and I simply had a conversation and decided that my body was no longer safe for a number of reasons. My body is dead yes, but I (as in my soul) am not dead. I changed shape. Think of this as a gift. I am giving you express permission to bury my body six feet under. However, I do not want my to be buried six feet under, I want my body to be burned. This gives you the options of keeping some of me and then spreading the rest wherever you want, spreading ALL of me wherever you want, OR keeping ALL of me in a pretty vase. I am not dead. My mass is not distroyed, only changed. I love you all!
~Ally Emu/Pancake/Pipsqueeck M. S."

is that really true?? did i accually write out the truth?? please comment me back or come find me at school, i want to know what you all think.
<3 pipsqueeck

When I look into you eyes,                                                                     February 4, 2007

I see everything that I’m looking for guys:

A man that’s never afraid of the dark

A person whose bite is worst than their bark

A human being who makes mistakes

But quickly learns (even after a few takes)

When I look into your eyes

I always see the best in guys

It’s never a sad look when they see me

It’s almost like it was mint to be

You’re never afraid of anything

And I’m very glad you don’t sing.

When you look into my eyes

What do you see?

A girl that cries?

Do you see the real me?

Are you afraid

I’m going to strangle you with my braid?

You know I love you

So just keep doing what you do

Let yourself love me

Just let stuff be what it wants to be

Trust yourself always

And live life your own ways

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Come on; follow me

Follow my footsteps

Footsteps of people before us

People who love the things that we do

Things like being ourselves

Our own people so different from the crowd

So, come on and follow me

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Crazy,

I was crazy once,

They put me in the rubber room,

It’s cold in the rubber room,

Cold as ground.

GROUND!!

Worms live in the ground.

WORMS MAKE ME CRAZY…

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School

The ultimate draw back in the teenage live

But, without it, we are nothing

We would have no life

No education, no friends

And nothing to look forward to or back on

It’s like guys

Without them we girls are nothing

That’s school for you

Most of the time no fun

But after school…

That’s another story

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I watch you everyday                                                                                           February 6, 2007

You’ve walked by my house every way

I’ve begun to wonder

Why have you chosen me?

What is it you see?

Please answer me soon!

I see you everyday

You look happy to be this way

I think you’re starting to yourself

“Why am I doing this?

What do I want, a kiss?

Please girl, just give me a chance!”

I look at you everyday

You always talk the very same way

I can see what’s going on in your head

Why can’t you see you?

What about all the things that you do?

Please, I really need answers!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A head that hurts

A body that aches

A stomach that churns

A mind that wonders

A heart that is broken

A hand that waves

An eye that cries

A mouth that screams

A girl that knows…you’re gone

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This is why                                                                                                   February 7, 2007

I told you I love you

And this is why

You told me I love you too

This is why

You gave me that kiss

And this is why

You are the one that I miss

This is why

I gave you that hug

And this is why

You always just shrug

This is why

I said good-bye

And this is why you started to cry

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You say you love me

But you don’t show it

I understand what you mean

But I really don’t care

these are just a few that i have typed..... freaking athina stoll the rest of my 81 pages!! breaks my small little heart in two. they were good ones too!!

i just spent the last weekend up in snow and now i hate it. why can't we get that kind of snow like...TOMORROW!?!?!?!? i went cross country skiing and everything was greart, the weather was nice, it snowed for 24 HOURS STRAIGHT and everything was AMAZING but then we had to come home!! 

i fell like twice, accually once the other time i sat down, not fell, sat. there was a crash ahead of me so i had to sit down inorder to stop because we were all going down hill. it was okay, but not really, i bent my knee a way that it wasn't supposed to bend and i brused/ might have broken 2 ribs on the right side from SLEEPING ON A COUCH!!! a couch!! how the hell do you braeak a rib by sleeping on a COUCH!?!?!?

that's my rant about skiing and breaking things and being in constant pain and having it hurt to breath.

Scheisse!!
<3  u marie!!

Wie heisst du?

i asked what he wanted
he said nothing
i asked him if he wanted me
he said maybe

i asked to call
he said nothing
i asked him if he'd call
he said maybe.